so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
