Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
