I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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