Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
