you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Panties = found
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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