i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
