life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
