If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
