First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
