I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
