How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
