nut hugger
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
