All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
