My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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