on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
