My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
