The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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