I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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