Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
