I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
