My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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