Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
