So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
