so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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