You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
