Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
