R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize