the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
