fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
