How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
