I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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