Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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