if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
