just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I will pee on everything he values.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
