I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize