windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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