What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
