he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
