He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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