One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
