I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
