I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
