"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
