So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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