You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
