help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
