Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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