drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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