Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize