Can i not drive my cunt home
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
