I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
