I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
