Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
