You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
