isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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