In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize