i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
