At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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