Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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