The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize