Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize